Fighting the Isolation of Being Mentally Ill- Teens with Bipolar



Fitting in when you are growing into adulthood can be tough enough but when you are also coping with a mood disorder, life can sometimes be lonely.

Teenagers can be self-absorbed and many are not compassionate to the needs of a friend who suffers from a mood disorder. Unless a teen lives with it, most teens can get tired of an emotionally needy friend.

When you suffer from a mood disorder you are often just trying to survive the mood swings and you may not be the best friend you can be.

A teen with a mood disorder often doesn't realize how straining it can be to deal with their ups and downs. Their erratic behavior can be a turn-off and sometimes their actions can cause the break-up of friendships. A teen suffering from depression often isolates themselves from the world and then is sad because they feel so alone.

As the parent of a teen with bipolar, it saddens me how lonely my teenager is at times. The depression usually causes him to isolate himself from everyone. At other times he is bored because he lacks the "normal" teenage social life. Many times it seems like he looks to me for entertainment.

Being an adult with adult responsibilities sometimes I just want a break from it all. I fight my own demons at times and getting "me" time just isn't possible with an emotionally fragile teenager.

I remember my own teen years and although I wouldn't want him to emulate them, I do wish that he had half the adventures I did.

I don't long for "normal" but I do hope for something more than he has right now.

Learning how to find your place in the world is essential for every teenager. You do this by socialization, getting your first job, having your first date, etc. My teen is so far behind in the "normal" teenage experiences.

It is a much different world for today's teens. With social media/networking, many teens form strong bonds with people they have never set eyes on. Even teens with a so-called "normal" social life choose to spend their time communicating through texting instead of old-fashioned conversation.

It is so easy to get caught up in technology. I fear that it does cause many of our teenagers to lack learning the social skills to grow into healthy adulthood. Imagine the teen who has a mood disorder and instead of being forced to be out there in the real world instead gets caught up in the cyber world.

A parent needs to push them to put the phone down and get out there. How many parents actually can devote the time to policing their teen into a healthier way of life?

As a parent who has tried, I admit that I am not always successful. Time demands keep me for putting up a fight some days.

The challenge of being a mom to a teenager with bipolar is great. Hope is something that I never lose- no matter what.

I can't.

Someday maturity will catch up and that inner fight will burn. My teen will choose to find his place in this world and will overcome or learn to cope with the symptoms of bipolar.

The future might be different than what I expect it will be. Our children are growing up in a much different world than we did. For all the good technology has given us it has also given us bad. Finding the balance and growing up healthy is more of a challenge than ever. For a teen with bipolar it is a much bigger challenge.

In the meantime I encourage my teen to physically get together with friends. I urge him to join after-school clubs and look for his first job.

I encourage him to get outside and exercise even if I have to go along for the walk. (it doesn't hurt me but it sure is tough to make the time)

Balance is the key and if I can teach him to find that healthy balance, hopefully he will grow into an adult with better coping skills to handle a life with bipolar.

Coping with the High Cost of Treatment

Being without health insurance is a scary thing for most people but when you have a mental illness and rely upon daily medication, it is really scary.

The good news is that many pharmaceutical companies are sympathetic to patients and offer several different programs to help. Even if you have insurance but your prescription coverage is lacking, there are programs for you.

The fear many patients have is not being able to afford their care. This is the biggest reason why many skip treatment, cancel therapy appointments and often go off needed medication. For someone with a mood disorder this can set you back in your treatment.

When you find yourself without insurance, the first thing to do is get busy on the Internet. Write down the medications you take and Google them. Go to the pharmaceutical company's website and check out what programs they have to help with the cost of your prescription drugs.

The next thing to do is to talk to your doctor. Explain your financial situation and if you are currently stable, see if you can put off your appointment for medication management. If you cannot, see if your doctor will charge you on a sliding scale until you are able to get new health insurance.

Clinics are another option but many times they have waiting lists of 6 weeks of longer. As soon as you lose your coverage, call up and get on that list!

If you are secure with a good therapist, have a discussion with them about your financial situation. See what they can do to help you out. You will never know unless you ask.

Consistent treatment is essential for mental illness. Financial setbacks and lack of health insurance are stumbling blocks on the road to your wellness. Try and work through them so you don't suffer!

Addiction Knows No Boundaries

With the recent death of yet another celebrity addict, people on many news sites are making some very ignorant comments.

No one chooses to become an addict.

Today's world is one of great stress and the pharmaceutical companies have conditioned us to believe that we do not need to feel "sad", "depressed" or not "ourselves". They have a medication for it.

The problem is that many of these medications act as band-aids; they cover up the symptoms but never force us to explore the root of the problem.

In this case of anti-anxiety drugs and sleep aids, the danger is the addictive nature of them.

The other danger is how so many people who take these medications do not consider the fact that having a cocktail is mixing drugs.

ALCOHOL may be legal but it is a DRUG!

In my life it never ceases to amaze me how ignorant people are about drinking alcoholic beverages when they also have been prescribed an anti-depressant.

Alcohol messes with your brain chemistry and ruins the affect the pharmaceutical drug has on you. The two do NOT mix.

It is not okay to have a drink every now and again and take anti-depressants, anti-anxiety medication or sleeping aids.

I don't believe that Whitney Houston intended to die. Whitney's usage of prescription drugs for anxiety, sleeping pills and alcohol put her at a higher risk for "accidents" to happen.

An accident did happen. Toxicology reports (although not complete yet) will most likely show that the combination of Xanax, Valium and alcohol led to her tragic death.

No one said life was easy. Stress can overpower us and sometimes we go to our doctor in desparation for help. We are prescribed help in the form of a pill which does come with a warning but no one fully can understand the addictive nature of these drugs until it is too late.

You may think that you can handle it; perhaps cut yourself off when you recognize there may be a problem but often that is not the case.

As your body gets used to Xanax or Valium, you need more of it to create the same affect. If you enjoy your wine along with your prescription you are living dangerously. Maybe you think that you have it all under control.

All you are doing is gambling with your life.

It is best not to even start taking these anti-anxiety drugs. I don't even think that prescription sleep aids are a good idea even though I myself suffer horrible bouts of insomnia.

There are much better ways to deal with the stresses in our lives. If you feel like you just cannot take it anymore (the stress), schedule an appointment with a therapist. Don't fill that prescription for a pharmaceutical fix.

It is far too easy to have it become a crutch that you cannot easily get rid of. It also can be deadly.

BiPolar - Over or Under Diagnosed?

Bipolar disorder is a mood disorder that seems to have become much more commonly diagnosed in recent years. It is also a disorder that can go undiagnosed because of the nature of the symptoms.

There are several different kinds of bipolar disorder but what defines bipolar is the extremes in moods from high highs (mania) to low lows (depression).

The truth is that mania feels good. The person is on top of the world and the behaviors that go along with this feeling of euphoria often cause reckless behavior. People do not usually seek medical help when they are feeling manic.

The other side of bipolar is the lows. The depressive symptoms can make a person feel suicidal and this is what often brings them to seek medical help. The psychiatrist only sees the person in a severely depressed mood and treats them with an anti-depressant. This will help them at first to cope with the depression symptoms, but as time goes by, the anti-depressant will actually make their manic episodes worsen. The depression will not be "fixed" either. A doctor who doesn't recognize that there are mood swings will increase the dosage of anti-depressant and the person will often continue the cycle of mood swings.

Diagnosing bipolar is difficult. It involves many visits to the psychiatrist and unfortunately, if those visits do not coincide with your mood swings and you do not verbalize these feelings, a doctor can easily miss that you have a form of bipolar.

This is most evident in children and teenagers. A psychiatrist who allows the parent to "speak" for the child is trusting that the parent's observations are correct and not biased or overly exaggerrated.

As a parent of a now-teenager, I have sat in psychiatrists' offices for years listening to my daughter either not verbalize her symptoms or seemingly forgetting how severe her moods often can be.

Over the years she has been diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, anxiety, depression, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Attention Deficit Disorder, and now mild Bipolar II.

As a parent who has 20 years experience with psychiatrists, I am frustrated.

I have been paid to research, cite sources and write about mental illness and treatments. I do not have a degree in any medical field (aside from a certification in massage therapy) but I feel that I have enough knowledge to guide my daughter's treatment.

What disturbs me greatly is that my research and personal experience has shown me that often symptoms can be affected by a person's lifestyle. In my daughter's case, I know that she needs a structured schedule to stick to. If allowed to just do as she wants, during depressive episodes she will withdraw and literally spend most of her time sleeping or laying around.

Her diet is also an issue. Always a picky eater, her bloodwork shows that she has a Vitamin D deficiency. People with a deficiency can suffer from depression symptoms. Like many teens, her diet is deficient in many areas. There is a direct connection to her mental health.

Psychiatrists often poo-poo the idea that a vitamin deficiency can affect your mental well-being. Many instead will increase your medication instead of referring you to a nutritionist.

I call this the zombie affect. It is also putting a band-aid on a wound that needs stitches.

To sum it all up, bipolar disorder is not always easy to see and even when it is, the journey can be one full of frustration.

Patients need to educate themselves in order to ensure that they receive the correct diagnosis and treatment that is best for them.

Stress and Mental Illness

Stress is a killer but if you are also coping with a mental illness, it can make coping even tougher.

read about coping techniques here 

Going through treatment for conditions like anxiety can often produce more anxiety as you get to the bottom of what triggers your panic attacks. Learning a stress-reducing technique will only help your treatment and speed your recovery.

Developing a plan that works for you may take time. Some people find that setting aside even 15 minutes in the morning to quietly reflect through meditation can put their mind into a place where they can better cope through a stressful day.

For others, a daily exercise routine helps to keep them balanced.

Remember that we are all unique and what works for one person may not be what works for you. 

Try many techniques until you find one that is right for you and practice it daily. 

Your mental well-being will improve. Guaranteed!

A Parent's Denial

Children can and do suffer from mental illness. It can range in severity but if it is not treated, it will not go away on its own.

read "Not my child" 

Facing the fact that your child may be having trouble coping is not easy to accept. You would not ignore if your child was kept up at night with a horrible cough and recognizing symptoms of depression and other mood disorders is just (if not more) important.

A child who has experienced a trauma in their life may seem fine but actually may be deeply affected and need some help coping. There are many reasons why a child may have a mood disorder. 

The parent who can let go of the idea that "my child is perfect" and see their child realistically can help them to be mentally healthy.

Not everyone copes the same way with difficulties in life. Parents who think that their children are not effected because they may not understand are wrong. Some children are more sensitive than others and what a parent may consider a small thing could be huge to a child.

how to find mental health care for your child 

A parent who denies that anything is wrong will often be faced with a bigger challenge with their child later on. A child who has anxious feelings will only become more anxious. A child with depression may later on suffer in school, with social relationships and may even turn suicidal. 

Mental illnesses are treatable and a parent should not fear what treatment may be like but remember that they need to address these symptoms so their child can live a happy and healthy life. 

Educating your Bipolar Child 

Schedules and your Bipolar Child 

Depression and your Teenager 

Recognizing Conduct Disorder 

Oppositional Defiant Disorder 


 

The Consequences of Untreated Mental Illness

We have come a long way in lowering the stigma against mental illness and promoting awareness of mood disorders. 

Unfortunately, we still have a long way to go. One of the problems is that the laws that were put in place to avoid abuse of those who have a mental illness can often keep them from getting the help that they desperately need.

Take the case of Jared Loughner. read more here

Although he was indicted for the shootings in Arizona and will probably spend the rest of his life behind bars, will he receive the mental health treatment that he so badly needs?

It should have never come to this. The tragedy should never have happened. Although many recognized Jared to be someone who did not "fit in" to society and exhibited unacceptable behavior, he was an adult. No one can force treatment upon an adult.

That is a part of the problem. Although violent behavior by the mentally ill only occurs in about 3% of patients, that is 3% too much.

A young adult who is undiagnosed or refuses treatment (which is their right) can lead an unproductive and often criminal life. They commit crimes such as theft and they indulge in illegal drug use. 

A parent of a young adult who is out of control due to a mood disorder cannot do much to force treatment. All a parent can do is refuse to enable their adult child. This often means that the relationship becomes broken and the parent spends many sleepless nights worrying about what their adult child's fate will be. Tough love can be hard to live with but it is better than enabling their behavior.

This is why it is so important for parents of teenagers to recognize when something is "off" with their teen's behavior. If you can catch a problem before the teen reaches legal age, there is a better chance of avoiding their self-destruction when they reach adulthood.

How to recognize depression symptoms in your teen can help to save them from themselves. Teens who do not receive treatment often turn to drugs or even suicide. 

There is help out there for parents of teens who need a mental health evaluation. Where to find mental health treatment is not difficult. Local and state agencies have resources and if you are insured, your insurance companies website has resources also.

Looking the other way when you feel that something is just not right with your teen's behavior could escalate into tragedy in the future. Mood disorders are treatable mental illnesses. Ignoring them will not make them go away.

Familys That Enable

Watching the Casey Anthony murder trial is a lesson in dysfunctional families. The enabling that goes on in this family is mind-boggling. read more here

Maybe what fascinates a lot of people is that they recognize themselves or others they know in this real-life drama. 

Casey Anthony is beyond being "just a good liar". It is obvious that her parents have had issues with her for a long time. She did not graduate high school and her father admits that she has always "lived on the edge".

Cindy Anthony is the kind of person who tries to control things but also avoids dealing with anything that may be upsetting to her world that she tries to control. Her daughter's pregnancy, for one, was something that the family didn't speak about. Denial is a coping mechanism for some people and Cindy Anthony held onto that denial like a security blanket.

Lee Anthony is obviously someone who needs intensive therapy. Whatever went on in his household affected him deeply. Although he is an adult, he still feels this pain and in order for him to live a happy life, he needs to confront this damage.

Some people are just not able to face reality when a family member behaves badly. They enable their behavior by allowing them to continue it. They may make excuses or pretend all is well. They may try and force their beliefs onto others or demand that things be their way. 
Ultimately, the person who has a problem runs the show and everyone else is sucked into their world.

Casey Anthony's lies and criminal behavior has torn this family apart. Testimony showed that as an unwed mother she frequently took Caylee to a boyfriend's house and spent the night. She lacked the emotional maturity or concern to be a real mother to Caylee and I am sure behind closed doors there were battles about that.

Being that Casey was of legal age, there wasn't too much her parents could do. They enabled her behavior out of fear of losing the granddaughter that they loved.

I have heard stories of young mothers who use their child as pawns with their mothers in particular, in order to get what they want. In Casey's case, she was living rent-free, her parents were supporting her daughter and she came and went as she pleased. 

Her parents seemed to be in fear of being firm with her. Did they create the monster she appears to be? In part, they did but I believe that some people are just born with the potential to be "bad". 


Did they overindulge her and not expect her to be responsible for her own actions? I don't know. Tough love is not called tough because it is easy to do. It takes strength to say no to your child, no matter what their age. Obviously, it is important for parents to speak their minds and demand certain behavior. In this case, life with Casey was probably crazy before she got pregnant out of wedlock. By then, the patterns were set.

Is this what happens when you allow your child to be the center of your world? Parents want to install a certain amount of self-esteem in their child but when you do not teach personal responsibility along with it, are you helping to create a narcissistic monster?

How to break the cycle of dysfunction in a family is not always easy but it will free you from repeating what probably is a long history of dysfunctional behavior.

This family's dynamics have been put under a microscope. It is obvious through public statements that they have made that they all had their "roles" in the family. Cindy tried to have things be a "certain way". Others, like her husband, tried to please her. Things were not talked about the way they would be in other families. This frustrated their son Lee, who eventually grew tired of it. Even though he seems to want to break free of this, he still has this loyalty to the people who caused him so much emotional hurt and damage.

Seeing this unfortunate dissection of a family's dynamics reminds many of us that we have no clue what goes on at the house next door. We also are reminded that none of us are human and sometimes what we think we are doing out of love may be doing more harm than good.

Read more about why enabling is a bad idea 

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Severe anxiety can be overcome and the way to successfully treat anxiety is cognitive behavioral therapy.

read more about anxiety here

Cognitive behavioral therapy in simple terms means that a trained therapist helps to guide the patient while teaching them new ways of coping with triggers that produce their anxiety symptoms.

For someone with anxiety, even though their fears may seem "unreasonable" they are very real. Sometimes anxiety goes along with post traumatic stress disorder and the reason why a patient may fear something is because of a traumatic event that they experienced.

Facing your fear is absolutely terrifying for someone with severe anxiety. When a patient figures out that anti-anxiety medication is not "curing" the anxiety, therapy is usually where they turn for help.

Living with anxiety is frustrating. You can try stress-reducing techniques in order to learn how to cope better with stress which will lower anxiety symptoms. This can definitely help but ultimately, when you have severe anxiety, you will notice that until you decide to face your fears head on they are not going to go away.

The decision to try cognitive behavioral therapy is a tough one to make. Therapy takes making a commitment towards mental wellness and it is not without pain. If you keep yourself focused on the belief that you will experience some rough emotional episodes while you go through the process of therapy but in the end you will be free, your journey will be easier.

Find the courage to commit to cognitive behavioral therapy by focusing on your ultimate goal- freedom from anxiety. Just think how great it will be to begin life over again without anxiety holding you back.

NAMI article about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

More on what Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is


Mental Wellness

In the American culture, not enough is done in the area of preventive care. If you eat healthy foods and exercise, limit alcohol and avoid drugs and smoking, you can avoid conditions like heart disease, obesity, diabetes, cancer and many other chronic conditions.


Studies show that people who take care of their mental wellness deal better with stress and generally live happier lives.

Yoga , meditation, exercise, a hobby or talk therapy can all help you keep mentally balanced. If you do have a mental illness any of these activities can help you to cope and even help you to overcome conditions like anxiety or depressive disorders.

Just as you practice daily hygiene, practice something for your mental wellness daily. As your practice gets to be second-nature, you will feel the change in yourself. It can help you if life throws you something unexpected and it will also enrich your life.