Helping Your Adult Child in Crisis

Mental illness most often can manifest in the late teen to early 20s. This is most heart-wrenching for the parents because once their teenager turns the magic age of 18, a parent is powerless.

Laws regarding mental health have changed over the last decade or more, giving the patient more rights to avoid abuse by the system.

Unfortunately the system that is protecting the rights of the patient is often enabling patients who need help from receiving it.

You cannot force someone to get mental health treatment unless they are proven to be a danger to themselves or others. Proving this is time-consuming and often the person will act out at the risk of their own well-being or someone elses'.

Being a parent of a young adult is not easy. Not many young adults are financially stable enough to live on their own and they often stay home until they have either finished their education or gotten settled in a career. Meanwhile the once-together young adult can exhibit signs of depression or other mental illnesses and the parent cannot do much to help their "child".

Early adulthood is when most mental illness issues come to the surface. There might have been some signs during the teen years but many parents chalk it up to moody teenage behavior. Many don't take it seriously because they are uninformed or just unwilling to face the idea that their child is less than "perfect".

What can a parent do to help their young adult child when it becomes obvious that their mental health is at issue?

The first thing to do is try talking to your adult child about their behavior. Depending upon the kind of relationship you have, you might be able to get them to see that they need to speak to an outsider about how they are feeling.

Counselling should be the first step along with a visit to your family doctor to rule out medical causes for how he/she is feeling.

If he/she is not receptive to the idea or reacts with anger, assure them that it is perfectly okay for them to have mixed feelings about seeking help. Pull up a website like NAMI which has tons of information about depression and other common mental illnesses. They have links to guides for where to find treatment and what to expect.

Most of all, don't give up!

You might not be able to force your adult child into treatment but you can be supportive and active in trying to get them to accept help.

Don't look the other way. Don't assume he/she will "snap out of it". You have to deal with this. This is your child even though he/she is now legally an adult.

Consequences of his/her actions can affect the rest of his/her life. You want to make sure that you do all that you can to get them to accept the idea that right now they are not in control of their emotions and they need help to get through this time in their life.

Never lose hope.

NAMI also has great information for parents whose adult child is resistant to treatment. You might need to go down that road of tough love but doing nothing will only bring guilt later on. Don't be ashamed and don't be afraid to talk to others about what your family is going through. No one is immune from mental illness.