Familys That Enable

Watching the Casey Anthony murder trial is a lesson in dysfunctional families. The enabling that goes on in this family is mind-boggling. read more here

Maybe what fascinates a lot of people is that they recognize themselves or others they know in this real-life drama. 

Casey Anthony is beyond being "just a good liar". It is obvious that her parents have had issues with her for a long time. She did not graduate high school and her father admits that she has always "lived on the edge".

Cindy Anthony is the kind of person who tries to control things but also avoids dealing with anything that may be upsetting to her world that she tries to control. Her daughter's pregnancy, for one, was something that the family didn't speak about. Denial is a coping mechanism for some people and Cindy Anthony held onto that denial like a security blanket.

Lee Anthony is obviously someone who needs intensive therapy. Whatever went on in his household affected him deeply. Although he is an adult, he still feels this pain and in order for him to live a happy life, he needs to confront this damage.

Some people are just not able to face reality when a family member behaves badly. They enable their behavior by allowing them to continue it. They may make excuses or pretend all is well. They may try and force their beliefs onto others or demand that things be their way. 
Ultimately, the person who has a problem runs the show and everyone else is sucked into their world.

Casey Anthony's lies and criminal behavior has torn this family apart. Testimony showed that as an unwed mother she frequently took Caylee to a boyfriend's house and spent the night. She lacked the emotional maturity or concern to be a real mother to Caylee and I am sure behind closed doors there were battles about that.

Being that Casey was of legal age, there wasn't too much her parents could do. They enabled her behavior out of fear of losing the granddaughter that they loved.

I have heard stories of young mothers who use their child as pawns with their mothers in particular, in order to get what they want. In Casey's case, she was living rent-free, her parents were supporting her daughter and she came and went as she pleased. 

Her parents seemed to be in fear of being firm with her. Did they create the monster she appears to be? In part, they did but I believe that some people are just born with the potential to be "bad". 


Did they overindulge her and not expect her to be responsible for her own actions? I don't know. Tough love is not called tough because it is easy to do. It takes strength to say no to your child, no matter what their age. Obviously, it is important for parents to speak their minds and demand certain behavior. In this case, life with Casey was probably crazy before she got pregnant out of wedlock. By then, the patterns were set.

Is this what happens when you allow your child to be the center of your world? Parents want to install a certain amount of self-esteem in their child but when you do not teach personal responsibility along with it, are you helping to create a narcissistic monster?

How to break the cycle of dysfunction in a family is not always easy but it will free you from repeating what probably is a long history of dysfunctional behavior.

This family's dynamics have been put under a microscope. It is obvious through public statements that they have made that they all had their "roles" in the family. Cindy tried to have things be a "certain way". Others, like her husband, tried to please her. Things were not talked about the way they would be in other families. This frustrated their son Lee, who eventually grew tired of it. Even though he seems to want to break free of this, he still has this loyalty to the people who caused him so much emotional hurt and damage.

Seeing this unfortunate dissection of a family's dynamics reminds many of us that we have no clue what goes on at the house next door. We also are reminded that none of us are human and sometimes what we think we are doing out of love may be doing more harm than good.

Read more about why enabling is a bad idea 

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