You are going through a divorce and although emotionally you feel drained, have you noticed how it is affecting your children?
Your child who was normally well-behaved, may become defiant due to the changes going on in the household. The child who seems to be adjusting just fine to your divorce may actually be holding their feelings inside, afraid to open up.
It is completely normal for children to blame themselves for their parents divorce. If parents are unable to keep their children out of their personal battle it will only further damage the children.
While it can be devastating to face up to the fact that your marriage is over, imagine how your child feels. To your children, their entire world is being ripped apart. What has been "normal" for them is now changing. Their sense of security is threatened and that can lead to anxiety and depression. Children most definitely can suffer from anxiety and depression.
If a parent fails to acknowledge their child's mental health issues, it can lead to more serious problems.
Divorce is not just about a man and a woman ending their relationship. When a divorcing couple has children, they are affected also and often more seriously than the adults are.
Don't ignore your child's feelings at this time. Sit down and talk to them about how life will be different after the divorce and reassure them that they can come to you. Keep your personal feelings about your soon-to-be ex OUT of the conversation. Bad mouthing your spouse to your children is just wrong. YOU are hurting YOUR child by doing this.
Look for changes in your child's eating, sleeping and behavioral habits. Talk to their teacher or childcare provider about what is going on in your home. If you notice changes- get your child to a counselor who can help.
Having your child speak to a professional who they will see as someone safe that they can tell their feelings to can help them adjust to the life changes. Remember, your child did not ask for their family to break apart. Sometimes divorce is inevitable and although you may feel that it is "for the best", it still is a change that your child may not be able to understand.
Children can learn to cope with the changes that divorce can bring. BOTH parents should do their best to put their personal issues aside and put their child's needs first in order to ensure that the child's mental health and well-being is taken care of.
You and your children can come through divorce and begin a new life with few scars. Be aware of your child's feelings and have respect for them.
For more about divorce read these articles
The Emotional Stages of Divorce
How to Find Mental Health Care for Your Child or Teen
Your child who was normally well-behaved, may become defiant due to the changes going on in the household. The child who seems to be adjusting just fine to your divorce may actually be holding their feelings inside, afraid to open up.
It is completely normal for children to blame themselves for their parents divorce. If parents are unable to keep their children out of their personal battle it will only further damage the children.
While it can be devastating to face up to the fact that your marriage is over, imagine how your child feels. To your children, their entire world is being ripped apart. What has been "normal" for them is now changing. Their sense of security is threatened and that can lead to anxiety and depression. Children most definitely can suffer from anxiety and depression.
If a parent fails to acknowledge their child's mental health issues, it can lead to more serious problems.
Divorce is not just about a man and a woman ending their relationship. When a divorcing couple has children, they are affected also and often more seriously than the adults are.
Don't ignore your child's feelings at this time. Sit down and talk to them about how life will be different after the divorce and reassure them that they can come to you. Keep your personal feelings about your soon-to-be ex OUT of the conversation. Bad mouthing your spouse to your children is just wrong. YOU are hurting YOUR child by doing this.
Look for changes in your child's eating, sleeping and behavioral habits. Talk to their teacher or childcare provider about what is going on in your home. If you notice changes- get your child to a counselor who can help.
Having your child speak to a professional who they will see as someone safe that they can tell their feelings to can help them adjust to the life changes. Remember, your child did not ask for their family to break apart. Sometimes divorce is inevitable and although you may feel that it is "for the best", it still is a change that your child may not be able to understand.
Children can learn to cope with the changes that divorce can bring. BOTH parents should do their best to put their personal issues aside and put their child's needs first in order to ensure that the child's mental health and well-being is taken care of.
You and your children can come through divorce and begin a new life with few scars. Be aware of your child's feelings and have respect for them.
For more about divorce read these articles
The Emotional Stages of Divorce
How to Find Mental Health Care for Your Child or Teen
I am currently surveying people whose parents divorced before they reached the age of 18. This confidential, on-line, short survey will hopefully allow those of us who work with kids to better serve children of divorce. If you could take a few seconds to fill it out, we would greatly appreciate it! You can find the survey at http://www.kidmin1124.com/divorce/
ReplyDeleteThanks again!